Living with Purpose- Act of Kindness #6

I mentioned before that being kind on a daily basis had turned into an awful daunting task. Not only because there are days when I do not feel or have the energy to be kind to others, but to my dismay I realized that many of my days are lived in auto-pilot.

This past week, I did each and every motion of my life on auto-pilot. I never questioned any of my actions, my thoughts, my motions, and even drove home without really thinking where I was going.

One of the reasons I started this project, other than to remind myself of how fortunate I really am, was to live life with a purpose. I want to live life “in the moment”. I don’t want to be overly concerned about my future or over dramatic about my past. I want to enjoy this breath I am taking right now. I want to realize I am alive and not some walking dead.

The reality of my days hit me like a hammer in the head. I look back and can remember that many of my days as a younger individual were lived to its fullest. I was so cognizant of my being, my desires, and my dreams. I remember sitting at a lounge with friends and feeling there was no other place I wanted to be but right where I was. It was such a palpable feeling, so tangible, and concrete.

And then came adulthood. I now have bills to pay and family responsibilities. But does growing up mean I have to be dead inside? Does it mean that I have perform my everyday responsibilities as though my body is nothing but a shell?

I comprehend now that to live with purpose is not an easy task. It takes mental processes that sometimes are just too much after a long day of work. But I get nothing but this one life. Even if I believe in the concept of reincarnation, this life, this moment, this person is a unique moment in time and will never repeat itself ever again. And I want to live it.